Let’s face it—talking to your child about their other parent can be one of the trickiest parts of solo parenting. Maybe you co-parent with someone who drives you quietly mad. Maybe their other parent is absent, unreliable, or no longer with you. Or maybe you’ve never even met them.

Whatever your situation, the question will come up. And when it does, you don’t need to have all the answers—but you do need a plan. Here's how to approach it in a way that’s honest, age-appropriate, and emotionally healthy for everyone involved.

1. Start with What They’re Actually Asking

Kids’ questions are often simpler than they sound.
“Where’s Daddy?” might just mean “Why isn’t he picking me up from school like Jamie’s dad?”

Before you launch into a long explanation, try a gentle follow-up:
“What made you think about that today?”
This helps you understand the real question and respond accordingly—without overwhelming them with details they might not need (or understand) yet.

2. Be Honest—But Keep it Age-Appropriate

It’s okay to say, “That’s a complicated grown-up story, and I’ll tell you more when you’re older.”
The key is to be truthful without burdening them with adult issues. If your ex was unkind or absent, you don’t need to rewrite history—but you can soften the truth:
“Your dad and I found it hard to get along, and we decided not to live together anymore. But we both love you very much.”

For absent or unknown parents:
“You have a mum/dad, but they weren’t able to be part of your life. That’s not your fault. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and ours is just right for us.”

3. Stick to the Facts

Avoid blaming or venting, even if you’re still processing things yourself.
Kids tend to internalise conflict, and hearing bad things about the other parent can feel like hearing bad things about themselves. Stick to facts and feelings:
“You felt sad when Daddy didn’t come to your party. I understand that. It’s okay to be upset.”

4. Let Them Lead the Conversation

Some kids will ask a thousand questions. Others won’t say a word for months. Both are normal.
Check in occasionally: “Do you ever wonder about your other parent?”
Then give space. Let them know it’s always okay to talk—and that no question is too big or too small.

5. Use Books and Stories as a Springboard

There are lots of brilliant children’s books that explore different family structures and absent parents in gentle, thoughtful ways. They can help your child feel less “different” and give you a way to start tricky conversations without it feeling like a big deal.

A few favourites:

• The Family Book by Todd Parr
• Two Homes by Claire Masurel
• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (great for separation anxiety)

6. Acknowledge Their Feelings (Even the Messy Ones)

Your child might feel angry, confused, rejected, or just plain curious—and all of that is okay. Let them express how they feel, without judgement. Sometimes they just need to know you’re listening.

7. Get Support If You Need It

You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Whether it’s chatting with other Frolo parents, talking to your child’s teacher, or booking a session with a child therapist, support is out there. You’re not failing by asking for help—you’re parenting with care.

And Finally… Give Yourself Some Credit

This stuff is hard. You’re navigating complicated emotional terrain while raising a tiny human (or several) single-handedly. You won’t always say the perfect thing—but if you approach it with love, honesty, and a willingness to listen, you’re doing just fine.

‍