Single parenting often looks manageable from the outside. Life ticks along, the school run happens, birthdays arrive on time, everyone appears fed and clothed. But beneath that surface is a constant, invisible accumulation of roles that rarely get named, let alone shared.

One of the most obvious is being the emergency contact. Your name is the one written down everywhere – at school, at the GP surgery, with clubs and activities. You’re the first call, the second call, and the person they try when no one else answers. Even when you’re working, even when you’re ill, even when you’re already dealing with something else, you are the default. There’s no back-up number quietly sitting alongside yours.

Alongside this sits the role of family memory bank. Single parents carry an extraordinary amount of information in their heads, much of it emotional rather than practical. You remember appointments, preferences, allergies and deadlines, but you also remember the subtler things: what upset your child last time, which situations feel hard, what has already been tried and didn’t work. There is no one else holding that shared context with you, and it can be exhausting to be the sole keeper of it.

Many single parents also find themselves acting as emotional translators. You explain feelings you didn’t cause and smooth over situations you didn’t create. You help your child process disappointment, absence or confusion while managing your own reactions quietly in the background. This kind of emotional labour is constant and often unseen, yet it takes real energy and care.

Then there is the decision-making. From the big life choices down to the daily micro-decisions, everything ultimately rests with you. What matters, what can wait, what gets prioritised. There’s rarely a sounding board unless you deliberately create one, and even then the responsibility still lands in your lap.

Finally, there is the buffering. Single parents absorb worry, frustration and disappointment so their children don’t have to feel the full weight of it. They hold things together on days when they are tired, overwhelmed or running on empty, often without acknowledging how much effort that takes.

If you ever wonder why you feel tired even on days that look “easy” on paper, this is why. The load single parents carry isn’t always visible, but it is real. You’re not weak for feeling it and you’re not failing because it’s hard. You’re carrying a lot, and doing it with care.

At Frolo, we believe naming these invisible roles matters. When you can see the full picture of what you’re holding, it becomes easier to be kinder to yourself – and to share the load with people who genuinely understand.

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